I’M STILL STANDING

Hey everyone. How are you all? I hope you’re all well and good. I also hope you’re in good mental health. Today, I’m going to talk to you about getting a diagnosis, and what it’s meant to me – not just for my mental health, but also my physical health conditions.  I’m wondering whether it was a good or bad idea to get a diagnosis. I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions about this.

When I was growing up, I loved going out to play sports with friends, or just hang out with them. One day I was at my grandma’s, I got up out of the chair, then came quickly face to face with the floor, if it wasn’t for some boxes in the way, I think I would have gone through the wall.  After this, I started having loads of tests done, and it turned out I had low blood pressure. For a couple of days, my doctor wanted me to cover my plate in salt, put my food on it, then put more salt on the food to get my blood pressure up.  He also referred me to a chronic fatigue specialist. It wasn’t a long wait; we were sent home with a survey form to fill and send back. From there, we had a follow-up appointment, and I learned I’d got myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME), also known as chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS).

When I got told this, I thought my days of playing sports were over. I didn’t really understand the diagnosis. I struggled when I was growing up, because I didn’t take it easy; I kept overdoing stuff, but as I got older, I realised I needed to take time doing things, and finally realised that recharging myself was really important. I still struggle in my adult life, but I think I have things more under control now. I don’t let my illness define me – I live with it and work alongside it.

Now my first mental health diagnosis was In 2006, I was told I had borderline schizophrenia. A week later I was arrested for an affray. When the police are booking you in, they have ask if you have any mental health issues, so I told them about the schizophrenia. About half hour to an hour later, someone came to my cell and told me that this wasn’t true.  I had to get this confirmed by my parents, as they were with me when I had the diagnosis.  After my release, we tried to find out what was going on. I was in and out of mental health services for years, and nothing was ever mentioned about my diagnosis at all until 2017-18. I had a psychotic episode and was, again, put back under mental health services. I went for an assessment with a psychiatrist and he told me I had EUPD – emotionally unstable personality disorder – complicated by psychotic episodes and compulsive components.

Having this diagnosis doesn’t make things easier at all.  Does having a diagnosis help in any way at all.  For me, I now have a label for all the things I have had to deal with most my life, but in another way, it doesn’t help me what so ever in the mental health way.  It can be very confusing, and scary sometimes, but I suppose  having the right medication is a bonus of having a name to the thing that’s marred my life.

I have never really had EUPD explained to me completely, I have googled things to get an idea, but more information would be great.  So, my question to you is, does having a diagnosis really help?  Or is it just another label we have to live with?

Thank you for reading. I wish you all good mental health. Don’t forget to take some time to recharge yourself, and be extra kind to yourself.

6 comments

  1. John a great write up as always, you are a great man that although your struggles works hard to promote awareness and support fellow sufferers.

    I’m proud of the efforts you make and proud to call you a friend. Your support so very much appreciated and boosts my mental health on days I feel sorry for myself I then remember there are others out there also suffering and many much much worse than me.

    You are doing a great job!! Thank you!!

    1. Good Evening Paul thank you for your kind words and taking the time to comment on my blog and read it and thank you for your continued support you lift me me as well and glad to know you fella

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